Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Word count: 2,7K

Warnings: Fluff, fluff and more fluff. Also Sad!reader. Subdrop, mentions of BDSM relationship (nothing explicit), mentions of dom!Sebastian and sub!reader.

Summary: You are experiencing your first ever subdrop and Sebastian does everything he can to make you feel better. It’s a lot of fluff and cuddling. 

A/N: Okay, so I usually write stories about some light or not that light BDSM dynamics and relationships, but they never really go through the full extent of of a relationship like this. So, this is gonna be a mini series/story with a sequel, which tries to go beyond the smut bit of these relationships. 

You were at
grocery shopping when it hit you. The extreme sadness and depression suddenly
flooding your body, making you feel lonely and you just wanted to cry.

Fighting
your tears you went through the aisles collecting everything you needed at
home. You pulled your phone out of your pocket as started to write a text. Your
extreme sadness was mixed with anger for no reason, but you couldn’t not feel
it. You were so, so mad, you’d want to slap the door into his face next time.

‘I hate you, please never call again.’ You sent the text and rushed to the
cashiers.

‘I have
told you, leave me alone!’ The poor old lady jumped next to you as you yelled
into the phone and walked out of the store. ‘This is all your fault!’

‘What’s
wrong, doll? What happened?’ Your friend, Sebastian was clearly worried and
confused about your sudden change in the moods. To be honest you didn’t
understand it either, but you felt like he betrayed you, he left you alone and you
were just mad at him beyond reason.

These exact
words were falling from your lips and there was a few minutes of silence after
that. ‘Please, sweetheart, let me go and get you. I… It is normal that you feel
this way. Please let me be there for you. Do you need me to get you anything?’
He asked calmly, like someone who was understanding what was going on. Even you
didn’t understand it.

‘No, I just
did the stupid groceries. Alone!’ The last word was mixed with the smash of the
trunk. ‘I’ll be home in ten.’

‘Alright, just
drive carefully.’ He sighed. ‘Doll, promise me!’

‘Oh, God, I
do! I am just sad, and so mad at you, I’ll not hurt myself.’ The relieved sound
from the other end of the phone somewhat calmed your nerves and you hang up the
phone. God, what the hell? Where did this all come from?

You were
home before you could notice. Not really caring about the things which should have
gone into the fridge, you drop the bags unceremoniously next to the door,
kicking your shoes off, heading to your room. The way you were pulling your
clothing of off your body made you remember the way Sebastian undressed you in
a hurried way yesterday. The huge mirror next to your bed made you feel even
more miserable, you couldn’t bare to look at yourself. You hated yourself and
Sebastian too. Mindlessly reaching out for something comfortable you find
yourself dressed in no panties, some cotton pants and his shirt. It was black
and way to big for you, but it smelled like him, and it seemed to comfort your soul
a little. Going with only the standing lamp next to your couch you turned on
your Netflix and curled up on the comfy cushions.  

In a few
minutes you could hear your door bell ringing for a second before the lock got open,
and you could hear Sebastian’s worried hello, from the hall.

‘God, you
are here.’ He was a lot less concerned now, but you didn’t answer. Why were you
even mad at him? You didn’t know. ‘Can I sit?’ He asked carefully and waited
until you noded. During his ministrations he picked up your favourite blanket
from the couch and covered you with it. It was white and grey and extremely
fluffy, and it made you feel better a slightly bit. ‘How are you?’

‘I am sad,
I feel like there is no happiness inside of me anymore.’ You cried and switched
sides, so you were snuggling close to him. Sebastian was immediately holding
you close to himself.

‘That’s
normal, doll. It’s okay to feel like this. I was actually surprised it have
never happened before.’ He explained and his hands were running up and down on
your back to comfort you.

‘I have
been sad before.’

‘Yes,
sure.’ He agreed quietly. ‘But you have never experienced a subdrop before. At
least not until this extent.’

‘A
subdrop?’ The confused look on your face made him smile a little and he pulled
you closer.

There was a
minute of silence until the gathered his thoughts on how to explain it to you.
‘Yes, it is a thing. I looked it up, when we started your sessions.’ Oh, right
because Sebastian was not only your friend he was also your dom. It was
something you started like two months ago. You both agreed to extend your
friendship and explore some things regarding to your sexual fantasies. You have
always felt quite submissive and he happily agreed to be your dom during your
BDSM sessions. He have had some experience too, but nothing more than light
spanking and using hands cuffs, so he did his own research before you could
have agreed on your terms.

‘It’s like
ultimate sadness for subs?’ Your question and the tone of it made his heart
ache a little. You still felt like it was something dark, shady, impure thing
to do.

‘No. It is
a chemical reaction in your brain. When we are having our sessions, you can get
really high, I mean high like high on your hormones. The subdrop happens when
you have drained all of your happy hormones from your body after a very
intensive session.’ Sebastian’s voice was calm and serious, making you focus on
what he was saying immediately. ‘You have several hormones, which are… well
let’s just call them happy hormones, okay? It’s gonna be a lot easier to explain.
So, these natural chemicals are part of the fight or flight response, which are
producing morphine-like chemicals in your body, to increase your pain tolerance
as our sessions become more intense. These hormones will and do put you into
subspace, which is amazing, but your body can’t make infinite amount of it.
While you feel supper happy and get high on them during our sessions, you have
a limited amount of them. You can’t make more than you’d normally do, and as
you have binged on them very very hard yesterday, most likely you have used
them all, or well, most of them. That’s when a subdrop happens.’

The amazed
yet confused look you gave him earns you a small kiss on the forehead. You sigh
contently. You missed him, his closeness and how much he cares for you.

‘So, right
now, I can understand if you feel unloved or abandoned or angry at me. I can
accept that. But you have to know that this feeling will go and you will feel
okay again very soon.’ He reassured you and rested his head on your forehead as
you burried your face into his neck, inhaling deeply.

‘I do feel
like this. I woke up extremely tired, and the thing you didn’t stay the night
wasn’t much of a help at the first place. I feel a bit sore and my skin is
still burning. There are bruises on my ankles because of the ropes.’ This
confession come out of nothing and you immediately wanted to take it back, but
it was too late.

‘Do you
need any medicine?’ Sebastian asked carefully.

‘No, it’s
not that bad. I just feel very tired, like I have run a Marathon.’ You moved
your hands a little so you could close them around his torso, pulling him
incredibly close. You stayed like this for a few seconds until your stomach
loudly reminded you that you haven’t had any dinner yet.

‘Come on,
let’s get to the kitchen, I brought you some chocolate ice cream and your
favourite sentenced candles, also some fluffy socks.’ He laughed as you tried
to hid your embarrassed, flushed cheeks.

You didn’t
need to move, he wrapped the blanket around you and picked you up bridal style.
Thank good he was working out that much. He carried you to the kitchen, gently
placing you on one of the chairs, letting you pull him into a long, silent hug.
His hands were holding you for a second more before he turned to your kitchen
counter and picked some bowls and spoons for the ice cream. He walked to the
hall bringing in your groceries too.

‘Would you
like to talk about it more?’ He asked as he opened your fridge and placed
everything onto the shelves.

‘No… Well,
maybe.’ You hesitated for a second, because your brain screamed at you that you
were currently mad at this very man in front of you, but you silenced it. ‘Do
you think it have happened because it was too intense yesterday?’

Sebastian
quietly placed the last items into your cupboard before turning to you. ‘Yes,
definitely. I was actually quite worried during the whole session, that’s why I
kept asking you about the safe words, but as you always went with green, I kept
going.’ The loud crack of the ice cream box made you shudder, and after it was
over Sebastian offered you an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry. So, you got into
subspace, doll. I have never ever seen anything like it before, you basically
become reluctant to pain and you looked completely high, like high on weed,
just ‘floating’ on your happy cloud. After that I regretted I didn’t plan on
staying, because I suspected that it might happen today.’

‘You know
so much!’ The amazement in your voice was clear even if your mouth was full
with chocolate ice cream. Sebastian laughed a little and adjusted your blanket
around your shoulders. ‘But, God, it felt amazing! I have told you, it was like
I was melting, like there was nothing in my mind, just pleasure and ease.’ You
explained and he nodded in agreement.

‘Thank you
for telling me, doll.’ The smile spreading through his lips was sincere and made
you wonder how he was doing it. He could make you feel loved and cared for
every time, that’s why you trusted him to be your dom. He cared for you, he
always wanted the best for you and he took care of you no matter what. ‘I was
hoping that the extra aftercare would help with this, but I was clearly wrong.’
You reached out to cup his face with one hand while you took a spoon full with
the other one, offering it to him with a shy smile. His tongue darted out to
wet his lips for a second before grinning widely and taking the kind offer.

‘Let’s go
back to the living room.’ You offered as you finished your bowl of artificial
happiness, setting your feet onto the ground, fumbling a little because of the
blanket.

‘I’ll bring
the candles and the socks. I hope you’ll like them.’ He fished them out of his
backpack as you moved back to the much darker room, to extend your couch with
one solid move. It was an easy construction, and you were extremely happy about
it. By the time Sebastian got into the room you got all comfortable and cosy,
waiting for him. He placed the candles on each side of the couch and some on
the table in front of it.

‘So, are
you going to put it on, or you want me to?’ He asked, even if he already knew
the answer. Your feet already peaking out of the fluff around you, you bottom
lip between your teeth, looking up to him innocently. ‘Alright, I’ll do it.’ He
opened the packaging and with a bit of a trying and experimenting he managed to
put on both of them. They were nice, fluffy and soft, keeping your feet nice
and warm. After this Sebastian laid down next to you on the couch and let you
snuggle close to him, fidgeting until you found the perfect position. He
wrapped his arms around you, gently playing with your hair.

It was
quiet for a few minutes, you felt warm and his steady heartbeat under your ear calmed
your panicking nerves a little. You still felt sad and kind of empty, but the
fact that whatever he was up to he aborted and run to you immediately, bringing
you some artificial happiness, slowly made you feel a bit better. There was
something on your Netflix, but you haven’t payed attention. The warmth
radiating through his thin shirt and as his left hand was holding yours, that
tiny skin contact got every piece of your attention.

‘How did
you recognised what happened yesterday?’ You asked the question which was in
your mind in the last few minutes but you were too soaked up in his warmth to
ask.

‘I have
read a lot about all kind of BDMS stuff before we started this. As I got into
it deeper and deeper this whole subspace thing come up more and more often,
which kind of looked like one ultimate goal for all this, but maybe it’s
stupid. The thing is I tried to get to know the signs of it and what to do
while you are in it, to not to break it immediately but not even let you to be
there for too long. I mean you don’t really feel the pain, and I could hurt you
seriously if I am not careful enough. So, I have carefully made an approximate
plan for this scenario, but obviously it’s easy to think of it at home, level
headed, then during our session. The basics were to keep you floating on your
happy cloud as long as it is safe and then decreasing the intensity of
everything until you come down slowly, to stay with you as long as you can,
keep you warm and talk to you.’ The way he talked made you remember all the
things he did  after it was over,
bringing you more water or Get a raid than usual, immediately wrapping you in
some blanket, carefully laying you down on your bed, and how long he talked to
you, telling you how proud he was, what a good girl you were to him, how much
he appreciated that you submit to him and trust him, and just ultimately how
much he adores and loves you for agreeing to extending the boundaries of your
friendship.

‘Thank
you.’ You whispered pressing a light kiss onto his cheeks. ‘For that, and for
coming over tonight.’

‘Of course,
doll. I can’t let you to be alone when you are feeling down.’

‘Because
you are my dom?’ You asked carefully.

‘Mostly
because I love you and care about you, but yes, yes that too. I feel responsible
for this, even if it is something natural to happen. But, I hope you are
feeling better now.’ He smiled gently. ‘Do you need anything else?’

You did. But
there was a bit of a hesitation before you said it. It was off limits.

‘I really
wanna kiss you.’ You blurred out, eyes falling to the soft, plump lips, then lifting
to look him in the eye. ‘I know it’s…’ You couldn’t finish your sentence
because Sebastian leaned to you and pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was
short, soft your lips barely brushing to each other.

‘I think we
can make an exception this time.’ The cheeky grin spreading across his lips calmed
your nerves about this. You moved a little shifting your weight to your elbow
as you leaned above him a little to kiss him again. You couldn’t help at the low,
content whimper which escaped your lips when he kissed you back, his tongue
sliding into your mouth this time, giving you a taste of those delicious lips.

After that
it was quiet again, you were watching the comedy playing on the screen, not
really wanting to talk right now. He pulled you up a little and turned to his
side facing you entirely, his steel blue eyes taking in the soft curves and
edges of your face. You don’t know for how long you were like this, sometimes just
your forehead touching, then he kissed you slowly and gently pouring all of his
care and love for you into these small touches. It was tender and intimate. No
words, just his lips and hands caressing you to let you know that he was there,
and he took care of you. It was so slow and made both of you feel utterly at
peace eventually both of you fall asleep.

Tags:

@hellomissmabel, @ruinerofcheese, @akamaiden, @angryschnauzer, @suz-123